We’ve all accidentally said something that we later regrated. It’s not a good feeling. Especially if you hurt the person that you were talking to. The sad thing is, a lot of the time, we simply just don’t think of what we are saying.

Not thinking before we speak is what leads to a lot of hurt feelings and unfavorable emotions. There is a way to stop doing this though. And it’s actually fairly simple to do. Let’s talk about it.

Why don’t we think before we speak?

I feel people don’t think about what they are saying because in their mind what they say is always acceptable. If a person feels like what they are saying is acceptable, they aren’t going to have a filter.

Obviously, this is not always the case, but this is how it is for me.

When I said things I later regretted, I did not think from the other person’s perspective.

This is where the problem lies. If you only look at things from your perspective, you will be less prone to think before you speak.

The goal isn’t to ignore your emotions. It’s actually to do the opposite, but with careful pondering of your wording.

Our words can be hurtful even if we don’t intend for them to be. This is why it is good to think thoroughly about what needs to be said.

If what you say will not be taken well then so be it. It’s just a good idea to gather your thoughts and think things through. That way you are as reasonable as possible when saying things.

That gets me to something else that is worth taking note of.

We need to have good emotion regulation

One of the biggest reasons that people say hurtful things that they later regret is because they did not regulate their emotions properly.

If you are speaking with someone while you are visibly upset, you are much more likely to say something hurtful.

This means that if you are upset you need to think even more about the things that you say. Keeping your emotions under control while talking with someone doesn’t have to be difficult.

It is very simple actually.

Here are 3 easy steps to do it.

Process your emotions

If you are upset, accept that. Don’t deny what you are feeling.

Don’t let your emotions control you

Don’t allow your emotions to cause you to do or say something you will regret.

Think about the best way to handle the conversation

Don’t blurt out whatever comes to your mind. Don’t hurl an insult or a punch to the face. Just think for a few seconds about how to best go about phrasing what needs to be said.

It’s that easy!  Some people will naturally have a harder time with this than others, but with time it can become easier.

Conclusion

The words that we say can have an impact on those around us. It’s important to think about them thoroughly before we say them.  It can save us from regretful actions.