By now most of us have heard that we shouldn’t settle. Whether it be in our occupations, our relationships, or pretty much anything else for that matter.
Settling is something that is frowned upon by a lot of people. But is it for good reason? Is it as bad as people make it out to be?
Let’s take a closer look.
What is settling?
According to me, settling is in essence, doing something that you wouldn’t normally want to do out of either convenience or perceived inability to achieve a more desirable outcome.
Let me give a couple of examples.
Ex. You can settle in a relationship by choosing to be with someone you normally wouldn’t care to be with.
This may be because you are getting older and you feel compelled to find a love interest before it is too late.
Ex. You can settle occupationally by working a job that you dislike.
At this point, you may have a question. If settling is so discouraged, then why do so many people do it?
Why do people settle?
There are actually many different reasons.
People with low self-esteem are more likely to settle
If you don’t believe in yourself you are more likely to take whatever you can get, even if it is less than you deserve. Because in your mind, it is the best you can do.
Settling can be easier than encountering the unknown
Settling is easy because it doesn’t take us out of our comfort zone. And we as people generally don’t like going into a situation where the outcome is unknown.
Unfortunately, If we settle instead of push for more than we will miss out on what could have been. We shouldn’t always go with what is easiest.
If we do, we can never truly become the best version of ourselves. We cannot grow without facing trials.
We settle out of fear
Fear is a very good motivator. In fact, a lot of the time people choose to settle it’s due to real or imagined fears that they have created.
Some people will live in a loveless marriage because they are afraid of dying alone.
Some people will push away their dreams and do work that they hate out of a fear of failure.
Settling can be harmful
It’s important to understand that in a lot of cases settling can be very harmful to us.
It has severe consequences that we should be aware of.
Such as:
Depression
If you take the easier but less fulfilling options in life, then it can lead to immense sadness in both the short and long-term.
Regret
If you settle, there is a very good possibility that you will have regrets later in life. What could have been? How would your life have turned out had you made a different decision?
All you can do is speculate at that point.
Gratitude is important too
Although we shouldn’t look to settle, it is important to have a sense of gratitude when you go about life. Although settling isn’t ideal, we should still acknowledge the good in what we already have.
We should always aim higher. But that doesn’t mean we need to dismiss the blessings that we have already accrued.
Live in the moment
We should also learn to take a moment to reaccess things.
If we look at things as one big project instead of individual bite-size pieces to a puzzle, then we are much more likely to give up and settle.
So don’t do that.
Conclusion
All in all, settling is not a good idea. Even though it may be easy to do, you may later hate yourself for having done it.
It can lead to us living a life full of regrets and sadness. Sometimes the risks are worth taking.